leftforbed:

leftforbed:

mcsnuggie:

true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn

why would the movie eat my popcorn

nevermind i get it

damespock:

ussawesome:

i am expressing multiple attitudes simultaneously sir to which are you referring

sacaswagea:

immergerd:

sacaswagea:

“if ur ready CUM and get it”

haha only 18+ will get this one. :PPP

I’m younger than eighteen and I get the joke. Btw, you’re really only supposed to use numbers instead of spelling out the word after one hundred. Or, to be grammatically correct, 100. You’re eighteen, you should know this.

is this real life

thecompanionsdoctor:

thecompanionsdoctor:

Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif

and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this

Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years

Which one of you assholes brought this back

badtvblog:

Don’t watch this if you’re soaked in gasoline because it will warm your heart and you will burn to death and die.

irresponsibleeyouth:

the trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until its too late for them to back out

beandaysthesedays:

i want you to map me out

cartograph my freckles and moles

chart the path a ship would take on a journey across the ocean of my stomach

find an anchor in the veins on the inside of my wrist

drown in the caverns of my collarbones

breathe in new air with lips like blown glass and find solid ground on the land of my palms

i want you to see the sea in me 

your-pal-lindsay:

thesmoshfangirl:

chinchillaghosts:

wivernryder:

chinchillaghosts:

heyfunnie:

why is bob short for robert

how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’?

How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?

you ask him nicely

you ask him nicely

i have been waiting for yEARS FOR THIS POST TO COME BACK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

mytoecold:

A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it. 

I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”

I wrote this:

Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.

Love,

Drew 

flyaway-freedom-heart:

h0bbitberry:

simonwang:

Twilight in two seconds

This is the only twilight thing I will ever reblog. 

I have been waiting for this gif