true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
nevermind i get it
i am expressing multiple attitudes simultaneously sir to which are you referring
“if ur ready CUM and get it”
haha only 18+ will get this one. :PPP
I’m younger than eighteen and I get the joke. Btw, you’re really only supposed to use numbers instead of spelling out the word after one hundred. Or, to be grammatically correct, 100. You’re eighteen, you should know this.
is this real life
Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif
and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this
Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years
Which one of you assholes brought this back
Don’t watch this if you’re soaked in gasoline because it will warm your heart and you will burn to death and die.
the trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until its too late for them to back out
i want you to map me out
cartograph my freckles and moles
chart the path a ship would take on a journey across the ocean of my stomach
find an anchor in the veins on the inside of my wrist
drown in the caverns of my collarbones
breathe in new air with lips like blown glass and find solid ground on the land of my palms
i want you to see the sea in me
why is bob short for robert
how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’?
How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?
you ask him nicely
you ask him nicely
i have been waiting for yEARS FOR THIS POST TO COME BACK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.
Twilight in two seconds
This is the only twilight thing I will ever reblog.
I have been waiting for this gif